It’s hard being a woman in any industry, but I hope this article helps some gal out there tighten the grip on her confidence and make the experience of judgement easier to accept as an. It’s easy to fall prey to criticism, negativity and double standards we women face in both our personal and professional lives…so learn to be immune so you can focus on what matters: being happy.
I see many women — strong, incredible, driven women — often getting caught up in an unhealthy cycle of trying to earn approval in our career and in our social circle. About two years ago, that was me. I used to take every criticism, bad vibe, jab as indeed some fault of my own. I learned quickly that seeking approval is the surest way to sacrifice your own happiness.
Once you start progressing in your career or life, it will make a few people uncomfortable. People are rifled when women demand higher pay, better standards in her relationship, more independence, the lifestyle she dreams of or sets strong boundaries for her happiness. My readership is full of women killing it in careers, entrepreneurship, artistry, writing, motherhood and every path in between – including a the simple art of living a happy life. I know the inevitable common denominator is criticism, so how to handle it?
First, accept it will always exist. Here are five basic criticisms modern women face and how to deal with it:
No Children? Children and Goals? She Cares More About Her Career than Family Values.
Parenthood is such an important undertaking, still the thought of making yourself happy as a woman first so you can be a happy parent is still taboo. As women, we are often labeled selfish or with a lack of good values.
Well, obviously that is baseless, but if you ever find yourself the recipient of this judgement (and you do want kids one day) imagine your future daughter or son. You are going to be that little person’s hero, and one day there will be important conversations about what they are capable of achieving.I personally look forward to telling my daughter that at her age I had dreams, and I made them reality with hard work. But more so, I look forward to telling my son that it was in great part because his father respected those dreams and never allowed me to give them up. That conversation matters, this judgement does not.
She Has Good Lifestyle? Her S.O. Must Pay For It
I’m proud of my husband. He is young, talented and successful. Occasionally, men are intimidated by that, so these two judgements most often come from those same people: he buys my lifestyle and the worse, I only have the freedom for a creative career because he must earn the money. Many men will try to undermine a woman’s value when she is young, successful and in a relationship.
First of all, try to always maintain financial independence in any relationship. Second of all, NEVER feel shame for treating yourself to anything in life or feel shame for any gesture your partner does for you in love. Work hard, be grateful for everything you have and give back; you never need to justify the good in your life.
Creative Profession? Influencer? She is Vain & Needs a Real Job
It’s a tricky job -— influencer or creative business owner — and while The Modern Jetsetter propelled me into that, I respect other women who make a full-time career. I can’t tell you the amount of snide comments and eye rolls I receive when Daniel is taking photos of me. The amount of times I’ve had to explain (and reexplain) how I make money and still never satisfy their silent judgements. People label many of these women as vain, self-centered, image-obsessed or “having it easy”, but it’s a basic judgement to make. These are women who are making a living of their voice, passions, advice because they’ve found people who want to hear it. They work 80-hour weeks, have no real vacation and have to put up with constant criticism both online and offline. Admirable? No, women are excelling at something they love; our society still prefers to tear that down.
While I know there will be massive waves of change, women killing it in creative professions is just starting; get used to it. If you are one of these women thriving in your creative field, you’re going to make people uncomfortable (especially as your success grows). It’s important to hone an unapologetic, iron-clad momentum that can’t be touched by judgement, negativity or criticism. It’s usually just a symptom that you’re making good decisions that serve the great picture of your goals.
She Makes Firm Decisions On Her Own? Bossy and Stubborn.
I’ve always been one to hear advice and chew on it with respect, but ultimately follow my own instincts. Some people are intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants, and more so, by a woman who isn’t afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. Doing the latter unapologetically is probably one of the greatest keys to success.
Intuition, instincts and decisiveness are all strengths and should be respected. For men, it is. For women, we are often told we are bossy, ignorant or stubborn (one of my mentors, a CEO of a leading PR company, was recently told she was overworked). Advice should always be heard and respected; no matter how far you progress in life. However, when you know what you want, don’t get into the habit of second guessing that instinct; it’s gold.
Mistake Made or Weakness? She Will Fail.
When you stumble and make a mistake as a modern woman (inevitable), it is surprising how some people smell the blood and try to project that weakness onto your entire reputation, career and character. These people will be competitors naturally, but also people you didn’t expect.
The truth is, people who are afraid to make mistakes find a strange satisfaction when someone who is flying drops in altitude. But the truth is gaining altitude is only possible when you learn how to power through that turbulence. The greatest strides in progress and the deepest level of happiness are achieved when you learn every success in life is punctuated by failures. Once you realize making mistakes is part of the path, you will know what freedom and possibility taste like.
The wonderful news: a handful of people in your life are going to surprise you with the amount of unconditional support the offer, no matter what happens in life. It will be so pure, it will make your heart burst. It will be few, but the more you nurture these precious connections with the priority they deserve, the more of those fulfilling relationships you’ll attract in your personal and professional life. A person’s energy is not unlimited, so give it to the people who leave your heart lighter, grateful, happier and inspired. This is your squad, and you have a responsibility to leave their hearts in the same condition
Never forget, we are all on the same team. Especially as women, we have a responsibly to lift, support and empower one another so our daughters have a better narrative to start with xx